she is in all of us.....

"If you need someone to trust..it can be me..I won't forget to remember you" -Kevin MCcallister (Macaulay Culkin) Home Alone 2

what so many wish to be...

PINOCCHIA - the sister of pinocchio. A girl so cold. H A R D. no heart. hollow. but she jus wants to b a real girl.

the feelings...

i jumped the border.
i crossed over into foreign land because i was led by the feeling of 'thrill'
Where i was at just wasnt where i wanted to be i was haunted by my past crimes nd the cops was after me. so i crossed over this border in hopes i would be happy...and i was...VERY happy.

nothn else mattered. i was on my PERMANENT vacay....

or so i thought.

authorities came....nd took my happiness away....i broke the law....

now im in a cell. facin the time of the crime i commited....

for life?

i hope not.

I want to plead my case in front of the jury of 'one'.

wat is the verdict? not guilty? please?

nd wen it all falls apart

It seemed like all these guys only wanted one thing
Then I found someone who wantd the things unseen
Mind body and soul…yup all three
And fo the first time in a while I was livin the dream
I finally had someone who really liked ME

Nd then how quickly the storm came
I was fussin over stuff that seemed real lame
I kept apologizing cuz I aint wanna lose wat I had gained
I realize it was me…I am the one to blame

I cnt control my thoughts nd I cnt control my mouth
But I cnt hold my tongue and my ignorant attitude comes out

But I understand that there is only so much one can take
Nd I apologize but my attitude determined my fate

Now it back to the cold me
So that I wont hurt nobody
So that I ultimately wont hurt BRY.
I guess this is the way it has to be

I waited so long fo somethn nd now its all gone

Goodbye to the feelins

Bye bye heart

Im angry as I sit here as I sit nd think of the damaged I caused
I did it again..another good thing lost.

i lied.....

I said my next post was going to be called apologies....but my thoughts aren't organized for that yet. Instead I am going to post a part from J Cole's song - losing my balance. This verse somewhat reminds me of Him.....

I got a thing for this little mama

She do it to me plus her brain is forreal imma sucka for love I guess

Wont catch her up in the club cuz she aint into that

Kind of chick that rather rent a flick and get intimate

Say she never fuck with thug niggas only gentlemen

And yea that ass is fat but whats better is her intellect

Other men ah sweat her when we walk past

Cant even blame em’ I did the same when I saw that ass

Match with the thin waist, brown with a slime face

Love the conversation and the kicks was like a sensai

Now she got me chillening with her all around the clock

My homies beefin cuz I never come around a lot

Keep on telling me I changed and things aint the same

And ever since she came around I never want to hang

They tell me that its foul how a chick will make me switch

But man I cant help it dog her mind got me whipped

I think Im losing my balance

Oh how I apologize........for not bloggin. I have so many thoughts and as soon as I can sort them out I will share. Nd my next piece will be titled 'apology'

nd i say

Most people scream for people to get to know them...

I prefer you don't.


I will allow you to know the simple things....my birthday...my favs....my dislikes....


but those things...are not WHO I AM.

Form yur own opinions nd thoughts about me. Its is quite entertaining. AMUSING, really!


yu can THINK what you want but you will never really KNOW.

p l e a s e....don't f o r g e t.

my thoughts

Most of my deep thoughts do not come from what other people have said or thought....they are MY deep thoughts....coming from MY experiences....

its all about me baby.

I most times comment on others thoughts and state MY opinion...but NEVER will I take someones thoughts and say they are my own.

N O !

i am deep in my own special way...


just felt the need to share that :)

kidnapped.

have you ever been....

robbed of your thoughts?

kidnapped by feelings??

LOST.... all self control?

Your thoughts are no longer your own...someone has taken them from you...and yu allow it to happen..how you ask? simply because you shared themm. You have forced someone to think like you. Before you speak...they hush you up by saying exactly what you are thinking.

feelings have taken over. they will not let you leave. What happened to the heartless little girl? Is she gone? Maybe, for the time being.


You lose all control.....because you have let someone in.

And that my friend, is when the series of questions begin.

I apologize for my rambling. My brain is all over the place today.

When feelings take over....

As I lay in my bed my mind refuses to sleep. A million thoughts run through my head.

When your feelings take over your eyes close and you walk with your heart.

Does this mean that you are now blind. Your lids are closed....your heart doesn't have eyes. So how is it that your heart can lead?

Have you ever closed your eyes and walked down a familiar path? You have taken that path so many times that you know that you don't need your eyes...you use your memory. Your brain is forced then to remember how to get to the destination.

Think of love as a path. Your first time ever taking the path, you allowed your eyes to close. But see, this time you are blind. Your heart is unfamiliar to this strange new path but yet you let your heart try and find its way. That is the first mistake. Your heart ends up with cuts and bruises from bumping into things unseen. Scarred from the storms that could have easily been avoided.

The second time your guard is up. You refuse to close your eyes. You tell your heart you will never trust it to walk on that path again. ooooohhh no, you are smart this time, right?

During the journey, you are offered many things to help your trip on this path but you refuse them all. You are too scared to accept. You only trust YOU. You are thinking too hard this time. This is your second mistake.

Now, many times you often go through both of these ways of taking this path. Knowing that those ways are NOT the ways to take the path but you are not mature and wise enough to understand the real way how.

The path of love should be taken with your heart AND your mind leading you. Where ever your heart fails to remember which way to go..your mind comes in and helps. The mind and the heart are two of the most powerful things that a being has. It is also tricky to learn how to use them wisely.


It takes time.

You cannot rush things. Take time on this path and it WILL b worth it.

Love is a beautiful thing when you finally understand how it works.

Your heart is NOT the only thing that should be given.

M I N D B O D Y &nd S O U L

i Manage

I've come to realize I have anger issues. ..

I HATE ignorance...Overly hyper people make me angry. .. Broken promises is a quick way to make me HOT.

I used to throw things and punch walls..

now I laugh when I'm angry. Does that make me crazy.... just call it my little way of dealing with things.

Sticks and stones

Sssooooo I see what you throwin...but them words dont phase. I'm the only one who knows the REAL me. A lot of people think they do. My past doesn't define me. I live my life. I make mistakes. I do some questionable things but key word ..'I' do them. So let me do what I do is all I ask. Too many ppl have things to say. Since when does the way I live MY life effect anyone other than ME? Hhhmmmmmm....and this is why I laugh. I dont talk shit NOT because I cant back it up but simply because I am too grown for the childishness. I have nothn but love for everyone..even the shit talkers. <3>

you try and push me down but my feet are firmly planted. Still standing :)

shits and giggles :)

I hope this makes you all laugh!!!! cuz I was DYING

snap fo the kids.....

I received this video from my best friend Amoni. Tell me they aint kill it. yyyeeessss hunni!! they betta work it...

melody

Oh how I love these songs. Acoustic. b e a u t i f u l. Nd I'm hearing something about a mixtape coming out from him around Thanksgiving. Hope this is true.

laughs giggles nd headshakes

These pics were in an e mail that my co worker received. The title of the e mail was 'you are cordially invited to a ghetto wedding'. I laughed and jus shook my head as I looked at these pics. There were some captions underneath these pics bbbuuutttt I jus decided to post the pics. lol

starlight

Brandon Hines. mm mm mm.


I love his music. This song i have posted is a few years old. but he is GREAT. His voice is just beautiful. I'm patiently waiting until he makes it big. I have been listening to him since my '07. CHECK HIM OUT PLEASE. Support Brandon Hines....

pic coming soon....

Spotlight

This dude right here is the truth. I am not saying he is the best but I can relate to a lot of things that he is talking about. His flow is crisp. He's got that voice that just makes you sit and think. You will be seeing more of him on my blog. With many quotes from him.

I'm off to lunch now :).

live it

How do yu define 'life'?

Wat does it REALLY mean to not have one?

If ppl keep to themselves nd don't do anything fun, they don't have a life?

That's just dumb....

Life IS NOT defined by social events such as partying or hanging out wit friends. Life is what YOU want it to b e. Life is life and not having one would just mean you were dead.

Live your life like YOU want to. Your life is what you make it and if you choose to spend your life lockd in your room listening to music or writing or playing video games then go right ahead.

You are living your life for YOU. Even if its not a perfect one but its yours and its up to you to make it worth living

C A R E free

Gotta watch where I wlk. Trying not to step in deep puddles.
I can deal wit the slight drizzle...but i cnt deal wit the cold torrential downpours nd gusty winds.
yu know, the wind that flips yur umbrella inside out.

Now your all wet.

The cars are zoomin' past nd yur walkin on the sidewalk, nd as they drive through the rain in the streets, yu step back in fear that yu will get splashed on.

Nd some days I forgit to wear rainboots..how culd i b so unprepared for the weather?

I try not to git my jeans wet but sometimes its hard to determine the depth of the puddle...until yu finally step in it...DAMN.
O O P S. Another foolish mistake.

And then, I worry bout those building wit the shiney slippery floors that I go into to get away from the rain. Where are all the ' C A U T I O N' signs? don't they know that there's a terrible storm outside? Or maybe they feel that we shuld know that since its raining outside we should walk carefully on the floors so that we don't slip and fall. COMMON SENSE, right?

But you know what? I got on my raincoat, boots, and my umbrella. I'm prepared for the weather.

But now i just sit and wonder......

What ever happened to the days when it was ok to go running in the rain? Care free. Splashing our feet in the puddles....mouth opened wide catchin the raindrops. Just enjoyin it all.

Instead we run from it. Hide ourselves in our rooms til the sun peaks through the clouds.

What happened to living life?

C A R E F R E E

i n t r o

I dnt believe that people really see wat I see.


the imperfection in the world is wat makes it perfect to me.


i'm never steered in a direction in which i dnt wanna be.


i hate to follow nd i dnt wanna lead.

make any sense?


maybe not to yu, but hopefully soon I can help yu better understand Bee.

- W E L C O M E